Posts Tagged ‘raw’

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Sarah and I have been married for almost six years now and still have no child no matter how hard we try. We have consulted several specialists and they all say there is nothing wrong with both of us. Our friends and family keep saying that maybe it’s not our time yet. Sarah insists that we might get lucky this year. But every month, I would see a pregnancy test strip thrown in the trash can, with one colored band. It kills me to know that my how hurt my wife must feel.
“Robert!…Robert!! ” Sarah screamed from our bathroom.
“What happened? Are you okay? Open the door!” I knocked.
Sarah opened the door with a shock in her face. She started bouncing back and forth in our room.
“Robert…we’re going to have a baby!!!” She continued jumping.
“Oh wow!” And I thought that was the happiest moment of my life.
Months passed by and Sarah’s pregnancy was going well. Her doctor assured us that our baby is perfectly healthy. The ultrasound and tests showed that we are going to have a daughter.
“I’m going to name her Emma…” Sarah suggested.
“Beautiful, I like that.” I agreed.
“And she’s going to be the most beautiful girl ever. She’s going to have my blonde wavy hair and pretty skin. She’ll have your blue eyes and smile…”
“And I’ll teach her play the piano…” I reminded her.
“Of course Robert…and then I’ll take her shopping and play dress-up all the time…” Sarah stopped talking.
“You okay hun?”
“I think my water just broke…”
“Congratulations Mr. Alexander! You’re now a father to a healthy baby girl. Your wife is now at Room 201. Your daughter’s with her. You can see them now” Dr. Banner greeted.
I saw Sarah cradling my daughter when I entered the room and I was about to join her when I noticed something on her face. Why does she look…unhappy?
“Are you ok Sarah? The doctor says you and Emma are perfectly healthy.” What she said next confused me.
“She’s not Emma…she’s not my daughter.” She whispered.
“What are you talking about?” My question was answered when I saw the baby’s face. She has unruly red hair with a large dark purple birthmark covering almost half of her face. My daughter. But why, What did we do wrong?
“She’s not my Emma Robert. Take her away from me!!!” She said, with a tone of disgust.
I took our daughter from her and tried to calm her down. She envisioned a perfect child. And this is not her Emma.
We named our daughter Leah instead and now she’s five years old. She has been the opposite of what we have wanted from a daughter. The reddish brown birthmark is very dominant on her face. She cries a lot even in public and never made friends. She has no patience in learning the piano and prefers playing with mud than dolls. She get’s stared at when we’re in public.
I’ve tried to teach myself to love here. I certainly did, but each time she’d do something clearly telling she doesn’t want any of it. Like yesterday, I clearly told her not to touch anything when I brought her to a friend’s shop. How hard could it be to comprehend that instruction? Instead she started running around and broke an antique vase. I had to pay $1,300 for it. It was antique.
Today, my sister Cora and her husband John are throwing a birthday party for their son, Jack. I promised to come and my stupid babysitter didn’t show up again. Robert is in a business trip so I had no choice but to bring Leah with me. I don’t know why but just looking at her really irritates me.
‘What the hell is taking you so long?! We have to go!”
“I’m almost done mom!….okay…how do I look?” she asked.
“Ugh…don’t ask.” She looked hurt from what I said. I really didn’t care. I dragged her to the car. We were at the party venue in 30mins. Cora never holds back when it came to parties. She rented a blow-up castle as I heard Jack were always fascinated with King Arthur.
As usual…when I entered the lobby…everyone stared at me and this odd looking girl holding my hand.
“Leah! Just go play somewhere without breaking anything. Be back here after an hour.” She just nodded and ran away. Good riddance I thought.
I spent the hour chatting with Cora and other moms and was so glad that Leah is not on my side to bother me. It was then time to go home and I couldn’t find her. She’s always been difficult to manage. I went to different rooms but didn’t see her.
“Hey Jack… have you seen Leah?” I asked the cute little boy.
“I saw her up the balcony earlier. I tried calling but she wouldn’t come down.”
I went up to see Leah dangerously sitting on the balcony’s railing…probably checking how far down it is. We must be on the 3rd level of the house… I walked slowly towards her.
I spent the whole party playing on my own. Somehow, I know that my mom hates being just around me but I don’t know why. I saw a beautiful balcony on one of the rooms. I wonder how far down it is. I leaned to see if it’s really scary when I felt a little nudge behind me and lost my grip on the side. No!! “Mommy, save me!!!” I was falling and as my body turned around…I saw one last face… mom? And everything went black.
It’s been two years since Leah died from an accident during a party and my marriage is now falling apart. The hurt I felt when I lost her was incomparable as I know I had not been good father to her. Sarah on the other hand seems to handle it better than I did.
“Robert!!!!!” I heard a scream from our room.
“What’s wrong?” I asked.
“You won’t believe it…I’m pregnant again!”
“Oh God…thanks for giving me another chance.” And everything went back to its course.
My marriage with Sarah was as strong as before and we promised to be better parents this time.
Months passed on and now… I’m sitting again outside the delivery room. It felt like forever until I Dr. Banner burst out the door.
“Congratulations Mr. Alexander! You’re now a father to a healthy baby girl. Your wife is now at Room 201. Your daughter’s with her.” Dr. Banner greeted.
Why this feel like this has happened before…
“By the way…I have to say that your daughter has the most beautiful face I’ve seen.” He smiled.
“Thank you. Can I see them now?” I asked
“Yes, go ahead.”
And there’s Sarah cradling my daughter in her arms. She looked at me and gently said…”Robert…look at her, our Emma…” she said with tone full of love.
My daughter looks like everything we have wished for… wavy golden hair, rosy cheeks and soft pink skin. Her eyes are blue just like mine. Beautiful.


Emma is now five years old and she’s been nothing but perfect. Everyone has envied us having such a beautiful talented little girl. Her piano skills are almost as good as her dad and she’s had many offers to appear on different talent showcases.

Emma wanted to join in one so I’ll make that call later tonight when we get home. For the meantime, I’m dressing up Emma for another birthday party Cora has prepared for her second child, Jeremy who’s now turning six as well.
“Are you ready Emma?” I called.
“Yes mom….ok… so how do I look?” she asked.
“Beautiful ,as always my dear.” Her face lit up with delight. “Let’s go?”
“Okay, mom.” Such grace.
It only took us twenty minutes to reach the venue. Cora wanted a beach party this time and rented entire mini-hotel owned by their family.
“Hey Sarah! Oh Emma… look at you!! Pretty.” She beamed.
“Where’s the birthday boy?” I asked without letting go of Emma.
“Oh somewhere… probably playing with their friends, want to join them Emma?” She asked.
“Yes! Can I mom?”
“Of course dear… don’t go too far.” I reminded her. I spent the hour chatting with Cora and John until it’s time to go home.
“Hey Jeremy dear…have you seen Emma?” I asked.
“Yeah… she’s upstairs on one of the rooms… I think she’s playing hide and seek with Angela.”
“Thanks Jeremy… happy birthday again!”
“Thanks, Aunt Sarah!”
I went up the stairs when I saw Emma running to one of the rooms. Probably looking for a place to hide. She looks so adorable.
“Emma, honey….it’s time to go home.” I followed her inside the room.
She’s leaning with her arms on the bar on the terrace overlooking the beach. Must be watching the other kids play by the shore.
I walked towards her… “Emma….we’re going home dear.”
My voice seemed to startle her as she quickly turned around.
Emma’s reaction bothered me. She was holding the side bars of the railing tightly with her hand.
Her body was shaking.
“What’s wrong Emma… are you okay?” I asked… worried.
She didn’t answer.
I don’t understand the look of her face…she eyes are horrified…of me?
I walked slowly closer to her…
“Emma? What is it? ”
Please don’t push me again”.


I’ve retold this story quite a few times mostly when it’s Halloween or fright nights.  I’ve experimented on using different POVs and the post above is the unedited version that I used some 7 years ago. (So please forgive my ellipses, my juvenile editing skills)  I’m proud of this though, cause its raw from my head. 🙂

I hope you liked it.  Let me know what you think through the comments below,